2020 Godfidence

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I hope it isn't too late to say that. Ha ha ha! I know what you’re probably thinking. Where have I been? I posted twice and then, POOF! Yes, I’ve taken a long hiatus indeed (nine months to be exact). Trust me, this break was extremely necessary and totally worth it. So much has happened within these past few months, but to make a long story short: I got engaged, changed my last name, and moved to a new state. Year 30 was definitely exciting and more than I’d ever imagined it to be, however, I know that year 31 will be even more intriguing. Evidence of this started to surface right around the end of the decade.

On New Years Eve, during the watch night service at my new home church, I took the opportunity to write down my goals for 2020. I chose goals instead of resolutions, because resolutions never really worked for me and were usually abandoned around April or May. That night, while I wrote down my goals, I made a decision to include the actions that I'd need to take to accomplish my mission for this new decade. There was just one thing... If I truly desired for 2020 to be even greater than last year, I would need to work on my Godfidence. Yup I said it. Godfidence.

Godfidence [gaad-fuh-dns]: the feeling that arises in appreciation of one’s skills, abilities, or gifts that come divinely from God.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. James 1:17 (NKJV)

I know ya’ll won’t judge me, so I’m just gonna go ahead and say it:

I haven’t always been confident in the gifts I've been given and almost always sought validation from others.

On some occasions, even after the compliments and praise, I still didn’t believe that I was good enough. I allowed past experiences, comparison, and negative thoughts to sit in the director's seat of my life. I stopped myself from stepping out of my comfort zone, because I was so afraid of failing. I was afraid of proving my negative thoughts right. What I soon began to see was that my fears and unwillingness to take risks caused me to fail in life for real. True failure doesn’t come from unsuccessful attempts, but instead comes from no attempts at all. I know that I’m not the first person to experience this, nor will I be the last. One thing I did know for sure was that this "fear everything" mindset was getting left behind in 2019.

There is a level of irritation that occurs when you aren't fully walking in your purpose. For me it feels more like a void that cannot be filled. It’s akin to eating a three course meal, only to have my stomach grumbling ten minutes later. In the past, I just assumed that I was experiencing an extreme case of boredom and would throw myself into a new book or start a new crochet project. Nothing ever seemed to work. There was even that one time when I started a business, but was so scared that no one would purchase my products that I dropped it within a matter of months. I lacked the appreciation for the gifts and skills that God had given me. Self deprecating thoughts, that are given fifteen minutes of fame in one's mind, can have one believe that his/her purpose is insignificant because it isn't surrounded by lights, isn’t dressed in glitter & gold, or isn’t the most viewed on social media.

We need to embrace the process of discovering who we are and the special gifts we’ve been given. I had to look at myself through his lens and accept that I am an introvert at heart and feel fueled whenever I am in a creative space. This is who I am. I am at my best when I am creating or gazing at that which has been created by Him. This is what I love. I feel at peace whether I'm writing, reading, editing photos, creating hand made cards, putting mood boards together, or crocheting . That New Years Eve night, it all started to make sense. I didn’t need to keep asking God to reveal my purpose in life, because He had already shown me. In my case it was pretty obvious, my purpose was wrapped up in my gifts. This is what He gave me: Creativity.

This year I am going to live out my purpose. I will walk confidently in His truths: I am loved immensely by Him. I am a wife. I am a sister. I am a creative. I will put myself out there no matter the outcome, because temporary failures do not define me as a person. I just need to walk with my head held high and remember that fear has no power in my life.

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control]. 2 Timothy 1:7 (AMP)

Fears may make you feel like you're stuck, as if your feet are trapped in dried cement. Trust me, I've been there. Although I know the truth, it is something that I have to consistently remind myself daily. Choose today to believe what God says about you. He says that you can do all things through his strength (Philippians 4:13). He says that he will be with you always, no matter the circumstances, even until the end of age (Matthew 28:20). In 2020 let's walk on water together! No matter your age or stage in life, it is never too late to walk in Godfidence.

In the comments section below, tell me how you will walk in Godfidence for 2020.

with joy,

Raquel

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My 2020 Godfidence playlist