A Sister Is Worth One Million Friends

We stood there on the wooden porch staring each other down as if we were competing in a national eye staring contest. I thought if I stared hard enough my Dad would eventually understand that I wasn't going to give up. Unfortunately, he stood firm in his answer. Filled with utter frustration, I blurted out "Why don't you want me to have any friends? You never let me go anywhere!" I grew up in a relatively strict Haitian household, during the 1990s. Sleepovers, playdates at a friend's house, and going to the mall after school were all off limits, however, that didn't stop me from asking. There was a glimmer of hope within me that believed that one day he'd finally let loose and allow me to do the things that my American friends were allowed to do. My Dad stood in front of me calmly. He let out a short chuckle and said, "You have friends, your mother and I gave you 4 of them." At 11 years old, this response sounded absolutely ridiculous, but deep down I knew this was the end of the discussion. I wasn't hanging out with "friends" any time soon.

That moment has been eternally etched into my memory. It wasn't until my sophomore year in college when I truly began to understand what my Dad meant that day. Life has a funny way of revealing the truth that you need to hear, even though you may not be ready to receive it. My parents gave me a priceless gift that they themselves didn't get to fully enjoy growing up: Siblings. Automatic friends. Sisters. ( I have one brother, but he's so special that I have to tell you about him in another post). I've been truly blessed to have 3 sisters of my own and doubly blessed to have gained more throughout the years.

As the first few months of 2019 speed by like a flash of lightening, I sit back and reflect on the women that I've been honored to call my sisters and the relationships we've built. There is nothing more liberating and refreshing than the ability to be your unequivocally pure, unfiltered, unmasked, and genuine self. The cherry on top is when you find a group of people who accept you for who you are, but love you enough to challenge you to become a better version of yourself.

What I've learned over the years is that every woman NEEDS a circle of sisters with whom she can let down her hair, fellowship, lean on in challenging moments, laugh, fight, do absolutely nothing, and pray. She needs her village. I have found this village in some very dynamic women. My circle of sisters consist of mothers, wives, fashion stylists/ experts, medical professionals, criminal justice professionals, office managers, stay-at home-moms, educators, cosmetologists, worship leaders, students and the list goes on. The relationship I have with each of them is special and unique. I can count on them to check me when I'm being irrational or to lift me up when I'm feeling down in the dumps. If I need something, I can count on them to help me. If they can't do it, then they'll find a way to get someone who can. They are caring, genuine, loving, hilarious, creative, and real. My sisters are a breath of fresh air.

Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight,

a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.

Proverbs 27:9

"The best kind of hood is Sisterhood!"

-Anonymous

My prayer for you is that you find your village that will help you become a better version of yourself and vice versa. If you've already found your tribe, then you are truly blessed. The quality of these relationships will always have deeper meaning and more value than the quantity of people you surround yourself with. Think about how your relationships add to your life and the various ways that you contribute to their lives. If there are more withdrawals than there are deposits, maybe its time for you to have a conversation with Papa (God) concerning these ties. Money cannot buy quality sisterships (I just made that word up. Haha) and maintaining strong bonds can be challenging, but it's all worth it.

with joy,

Raquel