Joy Comes In The Morning

Raquel
Apr 16, 2020
4 min read

Updated: Jun 28, 2020

Has this ever happened to you? You take weeks, sometimes months, to plan something out. You feel like you have everything in order and then out of no where you get that call that you weren’t expecting. Your heart sinks in disappointment, just as a rock sinks to the bottom of a lake. You knew it was coming, but it feels so unexpected when it actually arrives.

Death has a way of making you feel this way. Your emotions, your mood, your family, and even your faith can get flipped upside down and turned inside out. And contrary to what some well meaning people might say, it doesn’t matter how old the person was at the time of their departure. That type of separation STILL hurts.

I thought today I would be posting about my grandma, Da, and how much I’ve missed her during these last 7 years. Today she would've been 87 years young. But all of my plans changed 3 days ago. On April 13th Da’s sister & great aunt, Tati, passed away from complications of the Coronavirus. I’ve spent the last few days trying to wrap my head around the circumstances in which she died. How is it fair that she had to die without family being there? How is it fair that all of her loved ones won’t be able to attend her burial services? I know that I’m not alone in my thoughts and emotions, as many people across the world are experiencing this exact nightmare. However, with all of these questions still unanswered, there’s an unexplainable peace. In spite of my mourning I still know that nothing about this situation can change or diminish God’s goodness. Besides he’s the one who gave her to me in the first place...

Growing up I used to think I was lacking because most of my friends had both sets of grandparents. I only had Da or so I thought. This all changed sometime during the late 90s. There she was, this caramel skinned woman with purple hair ( yes you read that right lol). She was an older woman in her 60s. I didn’t know that old folks were dying their hair, so it took me by surprise. However, what struck me was the resemblance she had to my grandma. Da was just a little shorter and smaller around the waist. They spoke similarly and had the same mannerisms. Who was this woman? Where did she come from? And why on earth does she have purple hair? Unfortunately, Mumme could only answer two of my questions (And no I never did get that answer about her hair, at least not back then lol). This strange woman was my great aunt, Da’s older sister. She came straight from Port au Prince, Haiti. She didn’t speak a lick of English and from the looks of it she wasn’t planning on learning.

I didn’t know it that day, but I was gifted with another grandma. If you’ve ever been loved by a grandmother, then you know that this kind of love is for real.

I could talk forever about the countless memories that were created in the years following, but then this post would never end. What I will say is that I’ll never forget the days when Tati held my hand as we crossed the street to wait for my school bus. I will treasure the moments when I was first learning how to clean & season chicken. She was such a cheerleader and told me that in no time I‘d be ready to make full blown meals for my mom instead of the other way around. I will always remember her stories. It is because of her voice and her willingness to share history that I know anything about our family. She was never ashamed to tell me the truth even if it was a hard truth to digest. Lastly, I will forever hold in my heart the moments where she‘d sit and listen to my heavy American accent speaking this crooked Kreyòl. Neither she nor my grandmother have ever made fun of me for it. Which is probably why I’ve always felt so free and unashamed speaking to them.

This past week has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions and hectic to say the least. The best way I’ve been able to process all of this is by listening to music, praying, and writing down my thoughts. I think what has given me the most peace is knowing that Tati is finally home and free from the sorrows of this world. I also don’t think it was a coincidence that she transitioned 3 days before Da’s birthday. What a heavenly birthday gift my grandma has received: Her ace, her best friend, her sister. 7 years has been the longest time that they’ve ever been apart in their entire lives. Now they won’t ever have to worry about that. They have an eternity to share stories and celebrate their joy each and every day.

In Loving Memory